stmaryshaverhill.org.uk

Banns

Mon, 17 Oct 2022 13:39:41 +0100

If you are getting married in another church but one of you lives in Haverhill or Withersfield, you will need your banns of marriage read in Haverhill up to three months before your wedding. Let us know using the form below or contact us to arrange this. If you are getting married in Haverhill or Withersfield, there is no need to notify us separately as it will all be arranged together with your wedding.

You will be issued with a certificate of banns of marriage, which you will need to show to the person taking your wedding before the service. There is a small fee payable directly to us, which will be discussed when you notify us.

FAQs

Do I need to attend the services at which my banns will be read?
Your names will be read out at the main service on a Sunday for three Sundays in a row. You may wish to attend church to hear your banns being called, although there is no requirement to.

Other Services

Fri, 07 May 2021 14:56:06 +0100

The church can help you to mark many different moments in your life, especially times of change and transition. If you would like prayers said or a blessing offered but your life event does not fit into one of the traditional categories, please feel free to contact us to discuss your request.

In particular, we offer ways to mark moments in your journey of faith. We regularly offer courses to prepare young people (from 7 upwards) to receive holy communion before confirmation, and courses to prepare young people and adults for confirmation. Contact us if you are interested and we will let you know when this is likely to be next offered.

You can also be in touch with us about other services, which might include personal confession; or healing prayer and/or anointing. If you are sick or housebound and would like a minister or lay worker to visit for prayer and/or holy communion at home, or are looking for prayer and/or anointing for someone on the point of death, please do contact us, even in an emergency.

Funerals

Fri, 07 May 2021 14:55:31 +0100

Funerals can be a difficult time, when there is a lot to organise in a short space of time, while coping with the grief of loss and bereavement. We can accompany you through the grieving process and help to provide the space that you need to acknowledge the pain of loss as well as celebrate a loved one's life.

We can be flexible and help to arrange a service that is right for you and those you are remembering. A funeral, with the body present, can be arranged in church, or a minister can take a funeral at another chapel, crematorium or burial place. If you are using a funeral director, ask them to be in touch with us. Or you can use the form below or contact us directly if you are organising the ceremony yourself.

We can also offer services if the body is being laid to rest separately, for example if the body is left to medical science or is being sent for direct cremation. And we can help with memorial services, for example where funeral rites were distrupted because of social restrictions during the coronavirus pandemic.

FAQs

Do I have to use a funeral director?
No, you can organise a funeral yourself and we are happy to help if you do. However, a funeral director is there to help with all the practical and legal arrangements that are associated with the proper disposal of a body, and their services are often invaluable even with a simple funeral. We work closely with funeral directors in the local area and they will know how to contact us. If you are using a funeral director who is not local to Haverhill and Withersfield, please pass on our contact details so that they can be in touch.

Can I use non-religious music, readings etc. in a church service?
Yes, you can choose music and readings that are meaningful for you and the person you are remembering, which may include non-religious music, especially at key moments in the service such as the entry and exit. Any choices should be appropriate for use in a religious setting, but speak to us if you are unsure. There are certain elements which are essential to a service conducted by a church minister, including prayers of commendation and committal, and we would usually expect to use a reading from the bible such as Psalm 23 or John 14.1-6.

The deceased was not a regular churchgoer. Can they still have a minister to take the service?
Yes, everyone is entitled to a service taken by a church minister, whether or not they were a regular churchgoer. If the deceased was christened or married in church, that may be a sign that a minister would be an appropriate choice of celebrant.

What additional services can you provide for a funeral in church?
Every funeral in church will include a minister, who will expect to meet or talk with you beforehand, and a verger who will be present on the day to ensure that everything runs smoothly. We can also provide an organist, and may be able to provide a choir and bellringers. At Haverhill, we are also able to display a picture or slideshow of photographs, and can livestream the service.

Baptisms / Christenings

Fri, 07 May 2021 14:55:08 +0100

A christening or baptism (two different words for the same service) is an opportunity to say thank you for the gift of life and to ask for God's blessing and guidance as we grow. Many people bring children for christening, which we can do at any age. Godparents are there to support the candidate, especially babies who are too young to respond to the service themselves. Use the form below to arrange your service, or contact us to find out more.

We can also christen older children and adults if they have not been christened already. Baptism or christening only happens once in our lifetimes, but if you have been christened we can arrange a service of affirmation or renewal if this is something you would like.

We usually offer christenings in your own separate service on a Sunday lunchtime, but we can also include the christening ceremony in another service, including a wedding if this is appropriate for you. A christening is free of charge although we do invite donations to support the work of the church. We can arrange for an organist to play for the service, for which there is a small fee.

Are you a parent or godparent, unsure how to support your child to grow spiritually as well as physically, mentally and emotionally? Take a look a these resources from Parenting for Faith, including a few short videos, which offer help and advice as your child grows in faith.

FAQs

I am not a regular churchgoer. Can I have my child christened?
Yes, we are happy to speak to anyone about baptism and christening, whether or not you are a regular churchgoer. We want you to be able to participate fully in the service, including a commitment from the parents and godparents to support and pray for the candidate, and we can help you to understand these parts of the service. We have lots of services and events specifically for children and families, so we hope that you might be interested in finding out more, as this can help you to grow as a family, especially as your child gets older.

How many godparents should I have?
There is no limit to the number of godparents a child can have, but a child who is unable to speak for themselves should have at least one. Three is traditional. Older children and adults may wish to have godparents or sponsors but this is not essential.

Do godparents need to be baptised/christened themselves?
Yes, godparents do need to be christened themselves. If you would like to be a godparent but you are not christened, this could be an opportunity to explore this yourself so that you can act as godparent to the child. We can include those who not christened in a more informal role as a supporter.

Weddings

Fri, 07 May 2021 14:54:04 +0100

The church can provide the perfect place for you to celebrate your wedding day, connect you to the people and places that are important to you, and provide the spiritual and emotional support you need at this important moment in your lives. We are pleased to offer wedding services to anyone who lives in Haverhill or Withersfield, or who has a connection to the parishes.

Use the form below or contact us directly to discuss your ceremony, or ask your wedding planner to if you are using one. You might also like to have a look at Your Church Wedding, which has more helpful information about getting married in church.

We can also offer a blessing for marriages which have taken place elsewhere, such as in a registry office, or a ceremony for the renewal of marriage vows.

FAQs

Do I have to live in Haverhill or Withersfield to have a church service?
It is a legal requirement that one of you has to have a 'qualifying connection' to the parishes in order to have a service in one of our churches. This could mean that you live here, or that you used to live here, or that you have another family connection. There is a list of possible connections available in the contact form above. Speak to us if you do not currently live in either Haverhill or Withersfield and are unsure whether you have a qualifying connection. If you do live in either Haverhill or Withersfield or have a connection, you can choose which of the two churches to use for your ceremony.

In a registry office or secular venue, I have to 'give notice'. Do I have to do the same in church?
The way that we 'give notice' in church is to read the names of the couple out at the main service on a Sunday for three Sundays in a row, known as 'calling banns'. You may wish to attend church to hear your banns being called, although there is no requirement to. There may be a reason why we cannot call banns, for example if one of you is not a British national or lives overseas, in which case we can arrange for a licence for you.

If you are getting married elsewhere but one of you lives in Haverhill or Withersfield, you also need your banns read with us. You can notify us of this separately.

Can I use non-religious music, readings etc. in a church service?
Yes, you can choose music and readings that are meaningful for you, which may include non-religious music, especially at key moments in the service such as the entry and exit, and the signing of the marriage document. Any choices should be appropriate for use in a religious setting, but speak to us if you are unsure. There are certain elements which are essential to a service in church, including the blessing of the marriage, and we would usually expect to use a reading from the bible such as 1 Corinthians 13.

Can I write my own vows?
At a church service, the couple must make the vows in a pre-written form. The usual form of the vows is the same for the man and the woman, although there is the option for the woman to vow to 'obey' as in the older, traditional form of the service. Once you have made these vows, you could then additionally make promises to one another using your own words.

We are not regular churchgoers. Can we still have a service in church?
Yes, everyone is entitled to a wedding in church, whether or not you are a regular churchgoer.

What additional services can you provide?
Every wedding in church will include a minister, who will expect to meet or talk with you a few times beforehand, and a verger who will be present on the day to ensure that everything runs smoothly. We can also provide an organist, and may be able to provide a choir and bellringers. At Haverhill, we are also able to display a picture or slideshow of photographs, and can livestream the service. We have our own team of flower arrangers who can provide decorations, or you can bring your own.

I am divorced. Can I have a church wedding?
Yes, if you are divorced you can have a church wedding. We understand that sometimes things go wrong, and the church can help you to move on from a difficult past or look ahead to a new future. The minister taking the service will want to understand a little bit about your previous relationship and will need to see the decree absolute, and will then help you to decide if a church wedding is right for you.